I haven't posted anything on this blog in 9000 years, and we are going to focus on something else because aren't there more important things to worry about than inconsistency???
(On the real though, let's talk about it. Because artists, creatives, and thinkers are constantly apologizing for not creating and I think all of that is just a deep-seated connection to our society's need to squeeze productivity out of everything that breathes. If you are reading this right now, stop apologizing for the hiatus and do or not do whenever you want.)
I started several different mini-blogging series when I was writing more consistently. The purpose of these was to organize my thoughts and help incorporate some consistency in the creative process. I am Type A and struggle with unpredictability. I always said I wasn't creative, and the only reason I believed it was that no one told me I was allowed to be more than one thing. No one told me I was allowed to be afraid. Something I realized is that for me, writing is the way I learn, appreciate, and understand both learned information and my life experiences. I love writing as a lifelong record of our meaningful thoughts and moments, like a camera that captures the snapshots of who we are.
I just had the idea today to start writing more consistently again but as I was sitting here one [legal, don't come for me, I'm in MN] edible in, I thought about all the joy I gathered from sharing my words, even if they just go into the abyss. It's why I write whole paragraphs in my Instagram stories and captions and do weekend updates to my friends and all the random people I have followed since high school! I don't police myself as much as I used to, and there is so much joy there.
So, here I am sharing because it brings me joy, it helps me feel meaningful and validated in this precarious existence, it helps me be more me and continue to attract the incredible people I have into this life. I see it as a gift from our Creator that I have who I have and I'll continue to be around the best people this world has to offer.
Last night, I spent a wonderful amount of time around the most fun Black people. Queer Black femmes who fed my soul in a way that I didn't realize for a long time it was craving. And in a way, I had only a clue of the depths that my need went. No one can say I didn't try to find what I needed. I joined the equity board nonprofit in my small white Minnesota town, I helped lead the health equity work at my county health board job, but none of these things seemed to satisfy the need for community.
As I searched for journal and writing prompts I came across a TikTok creator that quoted Assata Shakur. She said:
"Black revolutionaries don't drop from the moon. We are created by our conditions."
They said to use that as your starting place and to create your own hyperbole. At this hangout, I really got a reminder of the joy of Black girlhood and being around the people you love. I have always meant it when I said I love Black people down BAD. Here is what I wrote.
Black women, unique and gorgeous in all of our being, do not become the stewards of our universe from the womb. (Nor should we be expected to!)
We deserve softness, high expectations that are not chained to us as a test of our [expected] inadequacy but a gift, a glimpse in the future of our collective joy and triumph.
Joy in the face of oppression and triumph in our struggle.
We get to experience an other-worldly bond and kinship. I grew up searching for magic and last night, I found it.
Also, I really am thankful for all the incredible people in my life. They are my greatest source of joy in a time where joy is difficult. Going to Miami with one of my lovely friends and bridemaid to see Olivia Rodrigo was a dream, and I had a wonderful day at the Minneapolis Institute of Art with my favorite science dads. Life's greatest pleasure is all of them.
Keep writing, keep talking, keep podcasting, keep reading, keep doing whatever helps you live in joy. Our joy, Black women's joy, community joy, is our answer.
Cover Image: Living Single
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