If you grew up like me, you were led to believe that your whole life is a conglomerate of all of the decisions you make. Make the wrong one, and the result could be a life that you'd rather not be living in.
You make your bed and you lie in it.
One minor detail that I feel is often implied is that these consequences are final and that they are always deserved.
The people who fell into addiction or poverty, it was because of the decisions that they made that were completely in their control... right?
Well, I'm hoping you read that and were like, "LOL obviously no" because any of us who have lived long enough just know that that is not true.
But really, many of us have developed this narrative. Whether it was through parents, judgmental peers, mentors.. we have been fed these messages of having one shot at making a good life.
Our subscription to this concept as a people is one of the reasons why there are people that are adamantly against social services. It isn't that all of these individuals are soulless monsters that don't want to help others, but rather that they believe they are doing people a favor by making them face their own decisions.
While that argument can be valid without any external factors, we know that just blocks away, folks grow up with vastly different opportunities and environments that contribute to their ability to make healthy and fulfilling decisions. This is the root of the issue.
Am I making excuses for people? Well, no. I am simply presenting the fact that a single mother who went to an underfunded public school and had little opportunity to progress to college has less viable options presented to her than a woman of the same age born in a middle income, two-parent home.
Okay, Martha, I get it, this sucks. But what does this have to do with me making a decision?
Well, I am glad you asked!
Any decision we make, ANY, has the possibility to have unforeseen and unintended negative consequences. So, first, I want you to stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
You aren't God or a Higher Being. You cannot know what will happen even if you pick the decision that looks best on paper. How would you? Does that mean it was the wrong decision?
To some people, they might say yes. But there is something else to consider here.
You may never know how much worse it could've been down the other road. Additionally, there is something to learn from every single experience we have. There are so many awful things that have happened to me that if they didn't, I probably wouldn't have as much joy and security as I do now.
You do the best with what you have and if you haven't noticed, you weren't gifted a crystal ball to see the outcome of the decisions you make today.
Okay, and sure, you could do a pro-con list and go that way. But it's okay to listen to your gut.
Intuition is an amazing thing and sometimes it goes against what seems the most logical so use your head AND your heart.
Another thing. Have you asked yourself, "How happy does this make future me?"
I know this seems contradictory to what I said already, but it is important to consider. How does that decision look in the context of your other decisions. Do you REALLY want to spend more time with your significant other in the next year but are only taking opportunities that leave you with less time with them?
Analyze the dissonance between your desires.
There is push and pull and compromise for everything in life, but you shouldn't have to sacrifice priority number one for priority number three.
That being said, what is a decision you've been trying to make? Okay, well, what do you think you want to do?
Why?
Yeah, that seems to make sense to me! This is me giving you permission to go for it.
Life is too short to worry about the problems you may never have or will inevitably have.
So, do whatever.
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